Assalamualaikum.

Hi. How are you today? Are you doing great? I hope you are. I'm not great. I'm sad. Mad. Happy. I don't even know. Sometimes I'll be happy and in a minutes, I'll be sad. Maybe it because of the hormones. Haha I don't know. I hope it is. Sometimes I feel lonely like I've no one to talk, share my problems, secrets with. I just don't know what am I feel right now. It just bad yknow. Like someone stabbed your heart using banana.

If you ask what the hell is my problem was, all I can say is "I don't know". If you ask me y my answer is "I don't know", my answer will be; "I don't know either". I just don't know okay. Don't ask me any type of question anymore or I'll kill you with my teeth.

Since blog was my online diary, I want to share something. Have you ever felt like wanting someone to be with you always, put all of your trust on him/her, sharing your happy and bad moments or the shame one, try to make you happy when you're down, willing to help you and others? Have you? Ask yourself. Look in your deep heart. Have you ever felt like that?


I have. And everytime I felt like that, I'll cry and think y is there's no one outside there that will to be with me when I'm sad or happy. To share with me their problems and others stuff. Y?!!! And, everytime I'll cry I feel so stupid. But I just can't hold this tears anymore. Too many pains that I've hide from your naked eyes. It's just too many. I'm sick of pretending that I'm happy but deeply inside, I'm not happy at all. And only Allah knows my feelings.

People used to know me as hyper girl. Always happy; Never have big problems. That was a lie. A big lie. Everyone have problems. Even the gardener have problems. The Prime Minister also have problems. And for sure, I'm in. I've too many problems that comes but doesnt want to get away from my mind. And because of that, I think too much. When I think too much, I've problem to sleep. When I've problem to sleep, I tend to sleep in the class.

I need to go. Feel like someone watch me from back. Adios. Assalamualaikum. X

P/s; Try to be a better person. Still trying. Doakan saya ya hamba Allah yang pemurah lagi baik hati? Ini bukan bodek. Ini kebenaran.